Home Funerals: Caring for Our Own Dead
You don't have to call a funeral home when someone in your family dies. Minnesota law allows family and friends to care for a dead person in the home.
What is a home funeral?
The National Home Funeral Association has developed the following definition:
"A home funeral is a noncommercial family-centered response to death that involves the family and its social community in the care and preparation of the body for burial or cremation, and/or in planning and carrying out related rituals or ceremonies, and/or in the burial or cremation itself. It is differentiated from the institutional funeral by its emphasis on minimal, noninvasive care and preparation of the body, on its reliance on the family's social networks for assistance and support, and on the relative or total absence of commercial funeral providers in its proceedings."
If it takes place at home, why is it called a funeral?
The word funeral is from the Latin funus, which had a variety of meanings, including the corpse and the funerary rites themselves. In popular usage, its meaning is usually restricted to a service or ceremony involving the presence of the embalmed body - or cremated remains - followed by burial. More broadly, funeral means a ceremony or group of ceremonies held in connection with the burial or cremation of a dead person.The home funeral movement further expands the term funeral by defining it as:
The entire process of attending to the dead including the care and preparation of the body, the vigil (if any), a ceremony or any prescribed or other rituals (if any), cremation, if it is to occur, followed by final disposition either by burial or, in the case of cremated remains, other means of final disposition.
What is a home funeral?
The National Home Funeral Association has developed the following definition:
"A home funeral is a noncommercial family-centered response to death that involves the family and its social community in the care and preparation of the body for burial or cremation, and/or in planning and carrying out related rituals or ceremonies, and/or in the burial or cremation itself. It is differentiated from the institutional funeral by its emphasis on minimal, noninvasive care and preparation of the body, on its reliance on the family's social networks for assistance and support, and on the relative or total absence of commercial funeral providers in its proceedings."
If it takes place at home, why is it called a funeral?
The word funeral is from the Latin funus, which had a variety of meanings, including the corpse and the funerary rites themselves. In popular usage, its meaning is usually restricted to a service or ceremony involving the presence of the embalmed body - or cremated remains - followed by burial. More broadly, funeral means a ceremony or group of ceremonies held in connection with the burial or cremation of a dead person.The home funeral movement further expands the term funeral by defining it as:
The entire process of attending to the dead including the care and preparation of the body, the vigil (if any), a ceremony or any prescribed or other rituals (if any), cremation, if it is to occur, followed by final disposition either by burial or, in the case of cremated remains, other means of final disposition.
In the past, we were born at home and died at home. Hospice has made significant inroads in bringing death back into a more personal, intimate setting, by providing families with the support they need to care for a loved-one who wants to die in their own home. Family-led after death care - the home funeral - is a natural extension of the kind of family-centered care for the dying that happens under the umbrella of hospice.
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Why are home funerals uncommon?
While the home funeral movement is growing throughout the U.S. and in some other parts of the world, it's still an uncommon occurrence. (The National Home Funeral Association (NHFA) is undertaking a project to gather statistics on home funerals.) There are a number of reasons a home funeral is still rare:
▪ People are unfamiliar with Minnesota law allowing family directed home funerals.
▪ So removed are we from being in the presence of dead bodies which haven't been embalmed that we've lost the common lore of our forebears about what to do at the time of death.
▪ Strong disagreements among family members as to the dignity of a home funeral - along with fears and anxieties about being in the presence of the dead in a home setting - may be too great to overcome, unless groundwork has been laid in advance of the death.
▪ Some who may approve of the idea of a family directed funeral don't feel they have the emotional and other resources to carry it out. Minnesota Threshold Network volunteers are available to meet with families before a death occurs, or when death is imminent, to discuss and/or plan a home funeral. See their website for contact information.
▪ Some may want a home funeral for a loved one but would prefer the assistance of a licensed funeral director.* Home funeral guides, though trained, are not licensed by the state, nor do state agencies recognize their training in any fashion. Home funeral guides volunteer their services to families.
*NOTE: Willwerscheid's Natural Burial and Cremation is the only funeral firm in the Twin Cities area offering natural burial services, including a package which offers the assistance of a licensed funeral director for a family-led home funeral. A list of their Green Burial Packages can be found here. Willwerscheid also sells a number of green burial/cremation products such as biodegradable caskets.
While the home funeral movement is growing throughout the U.S. and in some other parts of the world, it's still an uncommon occurrence. (The National Home Funeral Association (NHFA) is undertaking a project to gather statistics on home funerals.) There are a number of reasons a home funeral is still rare:
▪ People are unfamiliar with Minnesota law allowing family directed home funerals.
▪ So removed are we from being in the presence of dead bodies which haven't been embalmed that we've lost the common lore of our forebears about what to do at the time of death.
▪ Strong disagreements among family members as to the dignity of a home funeral - along with fears and anxieties about being in the presence of the dead in a home setting - may be too great to overcome, unless groundwork has been laid in advance of the death.
▪ Some who may approve of the idea of a family directed funeral don't feel they have the emotional and other resources to carry it out. Minnesota Threshold Network volunteers are available to meet with families before a death occurs, or when death is imminent, to discuss and/or plan a home funeral. See their website for contact information.
▪ Some may want a home funeral for a loved one but would prefer the assistance of a licensed funeral director.* Home funeral guides, though trained, are not licensed by the state, nor do state agencies recognize their training in any fashion. Home funeral guides volunteer their services to families.
*NOTE: Willwerscheid's Natural Burial and Cremation is the only funeral firm in the Twin Cities area offering natural burial services, including a package which offers the assistance of a licensed funeral director for a family-led home funeral. A list of their Green Burial Packages can be found here. Willwerscheid also sells a number of green burial/cremation products such as biodegradable caskets.
Dying at home vs. dying in a care facility
When asked the question, "Would you rather die at home or in a hospital or care facility?" most Americans say they want to die at home. Yet over two-thirds of Americans die in a care facility or hospital. When death occurs away from home, is a home funeral still possible? Although Minnesota law allows a family to transport the body of a loved one, some care facilities will only release a body to a licensed funeral director. In this case, the funeral director can bring the body to the home. There is of course a significant charge for this. A hybrid, shortened home funeral can take place in the care facility. It's increasingly common for family members to spend an extended time with a loved one who has just died in a hospital or extended care facility, such as a nursing home. Administrators of health care facilities are gradually coming to see the value of allowing a number of hours beyond death when family members, who may have spent many hours over days and weeks keeping watch before death, may now lovingly take time with the body after death, before its removal. |
Isn't that what Jews do?
The American practice of giving over care of the dead to professional funeral directors has been adopted by Jews despite millenia-old rituals to prepare the body for burial. To recover this ancient practice, the Adath Jeshurun Jewish Congregation in Minnetonka MN, under the leadership of Rabbi Arnold Goodman, formed a Chevra Kevod Hamet (Society to Honor the Dead) in the 1970s. A local funeral home provides space for trained volunteers of the Congregation to carry out time-honored rituals including: ▪Use of an, unadorned, unlined wood coffin made locally according to Jewish tradition. ▪Ritual washing of the body by members of the Congregation. The body is not embalmed. ▪ Clothing of the body in a plain, hem-less muslin shroud sewn by Congregation members. ▪ Continuous watching of the body until the time of funeral so that the body is never left alone. ▪ Burial in a grave without a burial liner. Unlike the typical practice of a home funeral today, there is no viewing of the body by relatives and friends, and the body is never kept in the home after death. Rabbi Goodman tells the story of his Congregation's decision to start a traditional Society of the Dead in his 1983 book, A Plain Pine Box: A Return to Simple Jewish Funerals and Eternal Traditions. |
Home Funeral Resources
The Minnesota Threshold Network
Minnesota Threshold Network (MTN) was formed in 2008 as an informal place to talk, share, and educate about the environmental, emotional and economic benefits of a more natural, less commercial approach to death, including conscious dying, home vigils, family-directed funerals, and natural burials.
In 2010, the Minnesota Threshold Network initiated legislation that gives Minnesotans more choices to care for our own dead. The legislation, co-authored by Representative Carolyn Laine and Senator Sandy Pappas, allows a public viewing of an unembalmed body on private property and other choices. The law went into effect August 1, 2010.
In-home meetings are held monthly except during summer. A larger public forum is held annually in June. Trainings, classes, and film screenings are held periodically. Threshold volunteers educate and support families who choose to care for their loved ones after death. Threshold speakers give presentations in a variety of settings on family-directed after-death care and green burials. (Adapted from the MTN Website)
Minnesota Threshold Network (MTN) was formed in 2008 as an informal place to talk, share, and educate about the environmental, emotional and economic benefits of a more natural, less commercial approach to death, including conscious dying, home vigils, family-directed funerals, and natural burials.
In 2010, the Minnesota Threshold Network initiated legislation that gives Minnesotans more choices to care for our own dead. The legislation, co-authored by Representative Carolyn Laine and Senator Sandy Pappas, allows a public viewing of an unembalmed body on private property and other choices. The law went into effect August 1, 2010.
In-home meetings are held monthly except during summer. A larger public forum is held annually in June. Trainings, classes, and film screenings are held periodically. Threshold volunteers educate and support families who choose to care for their loved ones after death. Threshold speakers give presentations in a variety of settings on family-directed after-death care and green burials. (Adapted from the MTN Website)
Anne Murphy - A Thousand Hands
Anne Murphy educates, supports and advocates for a more hands on approach to death through family directed after death care and green burials. Anne offers individual/family support, workshops and speaking events in the Twin Cities area. She is a trained Home Funeral Guide and Certified Life Cycle Celebrant. To learn more, visit Anne's website athousandhands.com |
Undertaken With Love, A Home Funeral Guide for Congregations and Communities
Checklist for Planning a Home Funeral by the National Home Funeral Alliance's Donna Belk and Sandy Booth of Austin Texas, pioneers in the modern day home funeral movement. Donna and Sandy have put together an easy to use,comprehensive resource. They've thought of everything.
Home Funeral and Green burial is a 49-slide presentation by Donna Belk of the Home Funeral Alliance featuring several home funerals plus an overview of issues related to home funerals and green burial.
ARTICLES
For in-home funerals, a 21st-century revival, a Minneapolis Star Tribune article (11/20/2011) about the home funeral of St. Paul pediatrician Dr. Eric Stull who with his wife, Kyoko Katayama, decided on a home funeral prior to his death while he was receiving in-home hospice care.
Think outside the box: Being green at the end of life, a U.S. Catholic magazine article written by Joe Sehee, the executive director of the Green Burial Council. The author challenges Catholic readers to return to a more authentically Catholic - and eco-friendly - approach to American funeral practices.
VIDEOS
Checklist for Planning a Home Funeral by the National Home Funeral Alliance's Donna Belk and Sandy Booth of Austin Texas, pioneers in the modern day home funeral movement. Donna and Sandy have put together an easy to use,comprehensive resource. They've thought of everything.
Home Funeral and Green burial is a 49-slide presentation by Donna Belk of the Home Funeral Alliance featuring several home funerals plus an overview of issues related to home funerals and green burial.
ARTICLES
For in-home funerals, a 21st-century revival, a Minneapolis Star Tribune article (11/20/2011) about the home funeral of St. Paul pediatrician Dr. Eric Stull who with his wife, Kyoko Katayama, decided on a home funeral prior to his death while he was receiving in-home hospice care.
Think outside the box: Being green at the end of life, a U.S. Catholic magazine article written by Joe Sehee, the executive director of the Green Burial Council. The author challenges Catholic readers to return to a more authentically Catholic - and eco-friendly - approach to American funeral practices.
VIDEOS
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Home Funeral and Green Burial is CBS news interview which provides a good overview of the home funeral movement. |
Care of Deceased Loved Ones is a 9-minute excerpt of a 2012 presentation by Minnesota Threshold Network members Heather Halen and Julie Tinberg. |
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Home Funerals: Tending to Their Own is a 2008 UPI Special Report telling the story of Lee Peterson's home funeral for his wife Lyn. |
Sacred Crossings is a photo-montage of a number of home funerals assisted by Sacred Crossings, a non-denominational service without cultural or religious discrimination which offers home funeral assistance. |
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