After Death Options
The Facts of Death
Nothing is more certain in life than the fact that, at the end of it, each of us will die. Sooner or later. Ancient of days or much too young. After a long, protracted illness, or a swift, brief, ravaging one. Unexpectedly. Suddenly. Perhaps in our sleep. For a tragic minority of us, accidentally or as a victim of violence. We know only the fact of the matter - that at some point, each of us will die. And at that point, there will be a dead human body, and something will need to be done with it. Someone will need to take charge of it. Our chance to have a say in the matter will have, so to speak, passed. Our Ancestors Looking across the vast stretch of human history, we see that, depending on where you lived and when, your dead human body was either buried in some fashion, or cremated...in some fashion. The dawn of human consciousness can be linked to our ancestors' awareness that something needed to be done with that human carcass. It can't just be left where it fell. Over time, early peoples developed beliefs and customs and ceremonies and rites, all in response to a human death. And because life was nasty, brutish, and short, death was a constant presence in the life of the tribe, or clan, or community. But archaeological excavations of early burial sites show that a death evoked care, intention, tenderness - the body positioned this way or that; buried on or with the body, a tool, a necklace, an earring, a bracelet, a figurine or totem representing an animal. Astonishing evidence found by archaeologists at the Shanidar cave site in Iraq indicates that even Neanderthals had the ability and the desire to bury their dead, though what that might have entailed can't be determined. Whatever a people's customs and practices, the time between death and burial had to be short - once a person dies, the process of decomposition begins immediately. Islamic burial practices may be the best example of what was common throughout most of human history among peoples whose method of final disposition was burial. |
Quick Links |
Some Things Haven't Changed
We still either bury or cremate a dead human body. And depending on our culture or spiritual tradition or beliefs about the meaning of death, we still attend our dead in some fashion either in the simplest most efficient manner, or with some degree of ceremony from simple to elaborate.
What has changed in the last 125 years, at least in the U.S., is that we've given over the total care of our dead - hired out the task, so to speak - to licensed funeral directors. Some would call that human progress. After all, doesn't having others do the work leave us time to grieve? And anyway, we've given over to professionals a lot of the things we used to do ourselves. Look no further than your local hair salon. But until the end of the 19th century - and in some parts of the country, well into the 20th century - caring for the dead was a family and community task. Preparing the body, viewing the body, performing rites and ceremonies in the presence of the body, and finally burying the body - all these tasks were taken on by those who in many cases were most affected by the death of their loved one. Rather than masking the fact of death, these tasks were the initial stages of the grieving process.
We still either bury or cremate a dead human body. And depending on our culture or spiritual tradition or beliefs about the meaning of death, we still attend our dead in some fashion either in the simplest most efficient manner, or with some degree of ceremony from simple to elaborate.
What has changed in the last 125 years, at least in the U.S., is that we've given over the total care of our dead - hired out the task, so to speak - to licensed funeral directors. Some would call that human progress. After all, doesn't having others do the work leave us time to grieve? And anyway, we've given over to professionals a lot of the things we used to do ourselves. Look no further than your local hair salon. But until the end of the 19th century - and in some parts of the country, well into the 20th century - caring for the dead was a family and community task. Preparing the body, viewing the body, performing rites and ceremonies in the presence of the body, and finally burying the body - all these tasks were taken on by those who in many cases were most affected by the death of their loved one. Rather than masking the fact of death, these tasks were the initial stages of the grieving process.
In a scene from the 1984 movie, Places in the Heart, set in Depression-era Texas, Edna Spalding (Sally Field) and her sister Margaret wash the body of Edna's husband, Sheriff Royce Spalding, who has been shot and killed in the line of duty. A few moments earlier in the film, a sheriff's posse brings the body home and lays it out on the dining room table.
Nothing in the scene suggests that this instance of home death care was anything but routine practice. The significance of this quiet scene is Edna's discovery of a scar on her husband's torso she'd never noticed before. |
Memento Mori - Remember You Will Die
Sooner or later, each of us will die, and someone will need to take charge. Before that happens, there's something you can do. You can lessen the burden that will fall on your loved ones when you die. You can put in writing your plans and wishes for what you want to happen to and with your body after you die.
Close to 40,000 Minnesotans die each year - about 109 a day. Unlike our ancestors, for most of us, life is no longer nasty, brutish, and short, which means that for most of us, death is not a constant presence in our lives. For that reason alone, it's easy for us to put off any thought of what will happen to us when we die. When, not if.
FCA of MN Website
Funeral Consumers Alliance of Minnesota (FCA of MN) has created this website to help you make those plans that will be carried out after you die. Before you put a plan in writing, it may be helpful to explore your options.
You may already know exactly what you want to happen to your body after you die. Great. You have a plan. If you haven't already put it in writing, you can go to our Planning Form page.
If you haven't yet decided on after death arrangements, or can't make up your mind, our After Death Options pages will introduce you to everything from a Conventional Funeral to Green Burial and "Green" Cremation.
On our Rights, Rules, and Laws page, you can learn about how you can become a wise consumer of funeral goods and services, and the choices you have, under the law, for after death arrangements.
Sooner or later, each of us will die, and someone will need to take charge. Before that happens, there's something you can do. You can lessen the burden that will fall on your loved ones when you die. You can put in writing your plans and wishes for what you want to happen to and with your body after you die.
Close to 40,000 Minnesotans die each year - about 109 a day. Unlike our ancestors, for most of us, life is no longer nasty, brutish, and short, which means that for most of us, death is not a constant presence in our lives. For that reason alone, it's easy for us to put off any thought of what will happen to us when we die. When, not if.
FCA of MN Website
Funeral Consumers Alliance of Minnesota (FCA of MN) has created this website to help you make those plans that will be carried out after you die. Before you put a plan in writing, it may be helpful to explore your options.
You may already know exactly what you want to happen to your body after you die. Great. You have a plan. If you haven't already put it in writing, you can go to our Planning Form page.
If you haven't yet decided on after death arrangements, or can't make up your mind, our After Death Options pages will introduce you to everything from a Conventional Funeral to Green Burial and "Green" Cremation.
On our Rights, Rules, and Laws page, you can learn about how you can become a wise consumer of funeral goods and services, and the choices you have, under the law, for after death arrangements.
"Death planning is a final gift to loved ones, a way of lifting from others the burden of your own death."
Good to Remember
In thinking about your plan, keep in mind that making after death arrangements is a two-step process:
Step 1: Your wishes for the care and preparation of your body after death.
Step 2: Your wishes for the final disposition of your bodily remains. Your final destination.
Either between Step 1 and Step 2, or after Step 2, is an optional third step: what, if any, ceremony, service, ritual, or celebration do you want to mark the event of your death? This may mean the specific rites observed by your spiritual or religious tradition. Or, it may mean a gathering you've created yourself - a celebration of life or a memorial service that bears the stamp of your personality.
Have Questions?
Funeral Consumers Alliance of Minnesota is here to answer your questions as best we can, or clear up misconceptions...as best we can. Call or email us.
In thinking about your plan, keep in mind that making after death arrangements is a two-step process:
Step 1: Your wishes for the care and preparation of your body after death.
Step 2: Your wishes for the final disposition of your bodily remains. Your final destination.
Either between Step 1 and Step 2, or after Step 2, is an optional third step: what, if any, ceremony, service, ritual, or celebration do you want to mark the event of your death? This may mean the specific rites observed by your spiritual or religious tradition. Or, it may mean a gathering you've created yourself - a celebration of life or a memorial service that bears the stamp of your personality.
Have Questions?
Funeral Consumers Alliance of Minnesota is here to answer your questions as best we can, or clear up misconceptions...as best we can. Call or email us.